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Anti-social media
Why Social Media is like having two penises

Think about it. Many of the senior people in marketing (who are male, which is still the case more often than not) at the moment are all going “we want blogs, we want Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Vimeo, podcasts, Foursquare, blogs, Flickr stream, everyone will love us if we have all of this – and we want it now, if not yesterday, because in an hour there will be something else we need to sign up to.”

And, when you think about it, that’s how many men see having two penises as well. They think that it would be great, people would love them for it, it would get them all the hot buzz that they crave.

And in both cases they would be wrong.

It’s not what you’ve got, it’s how you use it. And as most women would tell you, the majority of guys don’t know what to do with one penis, never mind two.

But that’s only part of the problem. The main problem is that of connectivity and understanding.

If you just added on a second penis to a man – and every man would pick a huge big one regardless of what they needed – and they started having erections, the body couldn’t cope with the blood loss, they would pass out and then they would be no use to anybody. Eventually they would get scared of this happening and never use it, leading to getting rid of it (ouch).

It’s the same with social media. You can’t just dive in. You have to understand your audience, see where your audience is, how they are speaking to each other before you start to engage with them.

To continue the sex metaphor it’s the difference between making love to someone and making love with someone.

For social media to work – like a second penis – you would see if there is a requirement in the first place and then how best to bring it in, what you would do with it and what the actual requirements would be to sustain it. For the biology that would be more blood and you would take steps to put that in place. For the blood of social media communications that would be a genuine desire to engage, to improve your products and not just spam or one-way annoy your customers – as well as making sure your IT infrastructure was in place to allow and handle social media.

In the right hands, a blog can beat an all-singing, all dancing social media site. A camera phone can beat the high-end Canons. A kiss can be better than sex.

It’s not what you’ve got. It’s about using the right tools at the right time or using the tools you have to hand at the right moment.

That’s what people should be striving for, not the superficial. It’s not about the numbers, it’s about the performance.

And now we’re off to take a shower.

5 Comments
  1. Barry Dewar

    If you’ve got 2 penises you’ve also got to find twice as many fannies.

  2. Turre

    Thank you for not using the obvious sex metaphor regarding the real benefits of having two :-D This saved my day….

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